Slow progress…

Hey everybody! It’s been a while since I posted something, so I thought I would keep the digital world updated. I’m well into my next book, and having a ton of fun writing it. I’ve returned to the world of the sentient animals, but reintroduced humanity. Of course, things go sideways. Should be fun to write how this one plays out. Anyway, I’m already 20k words into it, so it’s either going to be long, or I’m going to have to do some trimming.

I was checking sales, and I’ve managed to sell about 300 copies of A Pack of Dogs. Thanks, everybody! And congratulations if you actually managed to finish that mess! You’re a trooper! I am learning as I go, and the new novel is already a fair bit tighter.

On a side note, someone wrote a review of my other novel; Index, Washington. They were kind enough, and gave it 3 out of 5 stars, but they didn’t like the mushroom-trip scene where I inserted myself, as the author, into the story, interacting with the protagonist. I could say I was trying to be meta or something, but really I was just messing around. Anyway, they said it made the story weird. Well, the novel was about bigfoot, mothman, chupacabras, inter-dimensional demons, a buncha UFO’s, and a whole lot of drug use. I’m not entirely certain what part of that novel was NOT weird…

I hope everybody is well!

The Seattle Freeze

Hey everybody! How’s it going? Thought I’d post something on the blog today. I hope you are all doing well! My new novel is coming along pretty good; I’ve started in on chapter 3. For those of you unfortunate enough to have read my previous works, rest assured, I’m doing this one a little differently. Hopefully, it will be readable, let alone better.

I thought I would muse on the cultural phenomenon known as The Seattle Freeze, and the internet community’s hatred of my hometown. You see it pop up now and then. I am a native of the Emerald City (that are not very many of us left), and I have spent most of my life here. Just thought I’d weigh in.

Evidently, my beloved Seattle is not well received by the rest of the nation. Just do a google for ‘I hate Seattle’ and you will come up with tons of results. Most of the time, the criticism focuses on the weather, the traffic, the homeless and drug problems, and, more to the point, the people of Seattle themselves. You read about the Seattle Freeze, and how people are so unfriendly here. People also bitch about the Seahawks. Well, as a native, bleeding rain, let me address the concerns of the world:

First, the weather. Yeah, I get this. I completely understand. The weather here kind of sucks. We get many, many days of little to no sunshine, and, in the winter, the sun goes down around 2PM. The lack of light really can really mess with your head. However, it’s worth noting that most places in America get far more rain than Seattle, annually; they just get it all at once. Our annual precipitation is spread out over half of the year, in that perpetual, gray mist, obscuring the sunlight. I call it living in the cave. Don’t like it? Well, hang in there until March! Another way to look at it is that the atmosphere is simply an extension of the Pacific Ocean’s sprawl. As in, the tide is really in today. Maybe it’s because I’m a native, but the weather here has never really bothered me. We rarely have any kind of winter, and we rarely have inhospitably hot summers. It’s 40-70 degrees here, year round.  The weather is rarely a problem. No heatwaves, no droughts, no massive snowstorms. We do, however, have to deal with an occasional earthquake or volcano, but those are few and far between, thankfully. Our weather, though perhaps not always sunshiny, is generally cool and comfortable. Air-conditioned outdoors. I kind of like it. Ultimately, however, I have to ask: Does anybody wonder why it’s called the Emerald City? Everything is freaking green here! This is a great place to be a plant! You look at the rest of the country; in fact, just drive over Snoqualmie Pass, and you will notice that the rest of the world is kind of dirt-brown. I love the green and gray of Seattle.

Okay, the traffic. I have absolutely no rebuttal here. I am in complete agreement. The traffic in Seattle F*CKING SUCKS. This is an axiomatic truth. Again, I say this as a native, people in this town do NOT know how to freaking drive. This is the only one that really gets to me. This city is not big enough to have New York or Los Angeles level traffic problems. And, traffic or not, people here drive like they are on the Fury Road, on a bunch of crack. Seriously, people. My hometown has GOT to learn how to drive. We are, finally, developing a great light-rail system, but it’s about thirty years too late, and will eventually be finished right about the same time my 16-year-old niece is collecting social security. I took the Link light-rail the other day; it’s great, it makes you feel like you’re in a big city. But yeah, the traffic here is awful, and people drive poorly. I own this; Seattle is a terrible place to drive a car.

Okay, the homeless and drug problems. I can not make any snide or humorous comments here. These are serious, societal problems. It is more than obvious, when you peruse Seattle, any neighborhood, that we have a major homeless problem. There is a lot to unpack here. Drug addiction, mental illness and the lack of affordable housing are plaguing Seattle. However, this does not stop at Seattle’s borders. This is becoming a nationwide problem and should be addressed at the national, federal level. Sadly, with our current federal government, I don’t see that happening anytime soon. All we can do is put a few bandaids on the problem, but until we change how American society addresses mental illness and affordable housing, it’s probably not going to get better in the near future. I wish that the Congressional delegates we hire to send to D.C. would at least attempt to get some federal dollars to come our way to address these issues, as the problem is acute, and people are dying on the sidewalks. Again, we have a homeless problem that is only getting worse, but this is not a Seattle problem, it is an American problem. I don’t have any quick answers, but, last I checked, I am not an expert at anything and I don’t make decisions on how we spend our tax dollars. It is pathetic that the richest and most powerful nation on Earth can’t take care of its most vulnerable citizens. But hey, it’s nothing that some massive corporate tax cuts and a needless war with Iran won’t solve, right?

Alright, the Seattle Freeze. It’s real, I’ve seen it. But on this issue, I can only speak for myself. I am very shy and introverted. I get bad social phobia. I don’t like to go out; I would rather spend time at home, writing, reading, or watching bad movies while I cuddle with my girlfriend. Or I like to get out of the city altogether, which is a great perk of living in Seattle; mother nature is always a quick drive away. Anyway, I don’t drink and I don’t dance. That’s just me; I have absolutely no problem with people who enjoy recreation in a different manner than I do. I am told that I am very pleasant and easy to get along with, which I suppose is true. I like people, I’d just rather spend my free time in a quiet, peaceful atmosphere. I’m no misanthrope, I’m simply just not the outgoing type. Sadly, however, Seattle has a reputation of being full of people like myself, only they take it a few ugly degrees further, and are publically rude, intentionally isolated, and don’t return your phone calls. Well, that does suck. It can be extremely hard for someone new to Seattle to make friends. Seattlites come across as aloof, distrusting, and better than everybody else. Well, I may be aloof, but I usually trust people, and I sure as sugar know that I’m no better than anybody else. I can’t really speak for the city, but we need to fix this. I suppose a good place to start would be by just being nicer to strangers in public. This is easy enough, and I enjoy doing it. You never know what troubles another person may be having that particular day, so it’s a good thing to go out of your way to be pleasant to someone you don’t know. I will at least start there. I would encourage my fellow Seattleites to smile a bit more, and actually say hello to people. You still won’t catch me at the dance club, but we could all stand to be nicer to the people around us.

Lastly, the Seahawks. Richard Sherman is gone! He’s gone! Marshawn Lynch is gone! Sure, Russell Wilson can be a bit too boy-scouty, but he’s not talking trash. Get over it, people! But hey, if the Seahawks are considered one of the NFL’s most hated teams, I’m kind of okay with that. But, whatever, New England. You go right ahead and keep thinking the Patriots are great, even though they cheat their asses off. Whatever.

So, that’s just my two cents. I love Seattle, and it’s too bad that the rest of the country has such a poor opinion of my hometown. Which brings me to my final question: If you know the weather is bad (which it is), if you know the traffic is bad (it definitely is), if you know that the homeless problem is not being properly addressed (we have a lot of work to do), if you hate the Seahawks (12!), then why do people keep coming here?!? Don’t get me wrong; I love that I have watched my small hometown grow into an international city, and the influx of new people, from all over the world, has really created a great cultural scene, but is the rest of the country really that bad? Well, feel free to set me straight, and I’ll post again soon. Take it easy, everybody!

 

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Book Review: The Outsider, by Stephen King

220px-The_Outsider_by_Stephen_KingHey everybody! How’s it going? I thought I’d post another book review.

A while back, I read The Outsider, by Stephen King. We all know Stephen King. He writes very scary stories. Lots of people get killed in his books, as he generally dabbles in horror. Frightening, supernatural, horrifying things happen and it’s very scary. A lot of his books get translated into films. This never, ever works, except for a few exceptions. Last year’s film ‘It’ was pretty good, because clowns are scary and the kid from Stranger Things was in it, wearing glasses. Eleven! Also, two of his novels, The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, were both brilliant films. It’s odd, because these were not horror stories. They were prison dramas. Uh… write what you… know?

Anyway, back to The Outsider. I have often thought that Stephen King is a better storyteller than he is a writer, as much as I have greatly enjoyed his work over the years. In my opinion, The Outsider is an example of this. I’m not saying he phoned this one in, but it just does not really rise to the level of horror and terror that he has easily mastered. Also, the scary stuff, in any story, is how the main characters react to the terrible events going on around them, and in The Outsider, everybody is just kind of standing around. Don’t get me wrong, the characters are compelling and well-written, but, by and large, the dialogue is a bit bland, and everyone seems okay, and a little too easily accepting, of the presence of a terrifying supernatural entity. Granted, I’ve never been in the presence of a terrifying, supernatural entity, so maybe some people are just okay with it. Me? I’d crap my pants.

Anyway, the first part of the book is mostly a police/crime tale, with a detective trying to solve an unusual murder, the gruesome killing of a child. Hey, Steve goes there. That’s what he does. The rest of the book consists of the characters, who are antagonized by a paint-by-the-numbers bent detective, eventually discovering that the real menace is a mysterious creature called The Outsider, a sort of bizarre shape-shifting thing from you-never-find-out, who sometimes has straws for eyes (?), can heal cancer, exudes some sort of oil, and can speak very eloquently and matter of factly.

It’s a good read, but not one of Mr. King’s masterpieces. Like I said, the main characters are remarkably insouciant, given the circumstances. And the eponymous antagonist is so under-explained, you are left wondering exactly what kind of evil King was trying to convey. I noticed some references to situations and events from other King novels; that was kind of neat. The Stephen King-o-verse!

Most of the action takes place in that hotbed of supernatural terror, the state of Oklahoma. Not sure when King got tired of Maine, but there you go.

So, it’s a good book, just not one of his stronger reads. I did not dislike it, by any means, it was just a tad flat.

Anyway, just my opinion. Feel free to tell me your thoughts, or if I’m wrong. Thanks, everybody!

Book Review: The Road, by Cormac McCarthy

thHey everybody! I hope everybody is well! Just thought I’d check in and post a book review. I am forming the outline for a new novel. Hopefully, this one will be a little more readable. Hey, I’m learning as I go.

I recently read The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. I have to admit, I had pretty high expectations going into this one. I had been told, by many people, that this book is a masterpiece. I had also been told that the book is profoundly bleak and depressing, moving. And, as a lover of post-apocalyptic fiction, Mad Max: Fury Road being the finest film ever made, I was eager to finally read this instant classic.

Oi. I’m terribly sorry. Maybe I’m not smart. Maybe I’m not cultured enough. Maybe I didn’t get it. But I am here to tell you: I found this book to be profoundly mediocre. Don’t get me wrong, there were some good things in it, but I also had some serious problems with it.

Here’s the plot, in a very brief nutshell: A father and his young son walk down the remains of the western United States, southwards, towards Cormac never says where, after some catastrophic, society-destroying apocalypse. They look for food and hide from bandits. Yup, that’s about it. I know that harrowing tales of survival can be compelling, but, seriously, that’s about it.

Here’s the good stuff: The descriptive narrative is actually very well written. McCarthy does a fantastic job of painting a brilliant mental picture. You really can feel yourself in the story. The action moves along well enough, with a few spots of pausing for contemplative situations. McCarthy’s command of the English language, and his penchant for poetry, is quite strong.

Here are the problems I had with the book: Remember my synopsis I wrote a couple of paragraphs above? Seriously, that’s all that happens. As a reader, you do care about what happens to the father and son, and you root for them, but there is literally nothing in the way of character development at all. They walk, say they are scared, they look for food, they hide from bandits. They say ‘okay’ a lot. That is seriously about it. Now, I know full well that I am no literary genius, but you’ve got to give us something! But it gets worse: You never, ever get to find out what caused the collapse of civilization. I get it, McCarthy did not feel that relevant to the plot, but at least give me something! Nuclear war? A terrible plague? Four more years of Trump?

Ultimately though, here’s the biggest problem I had with the book: McCarthy, being the genius that brought us No Country For Old Men, which had all the closure of the Mueller Report, did not feel, when he wrote The Road, that he needed to follow basic rules of grammar. Like punctuation. I’m serious. When the father and son have a conversation, which usually consists of dialogue saying how scared and hungry they are, McCarthy does not bother with quotation marks. Not kidding. So when the dialogue gets longer than a few exchanged lines, you actually lose track of who is saying what. Also, McCarthy leaves out the apostrophe of contracted words. For example, he writes the word ‘won’t’ as ‘wont.’ Or ‘didn’t’ as ‘didnt.’ I found this odd and confusing. I honestly thought Maria and I were reading an unpublished draft copy or something. I don’t know if McCarthy’s choice to do this was because it’s considered meta, or avant garde, or if Cormac McCarthy is just too good to be bothered with proper grammar, but it got kind of distracting.

So there you go. I know I will probably get some flak for this, but I found the novel to be underwhelming. Maybe if I did not have the preconceived notions before I read the book, I might have enjoyed it more, but I really did not get it. I don’t know, maybe it’s me. Feel free to set me straight.

I understand the book was made into a film, with Aragorn from Lord of the Rings playing the father. They filmed extensively around the ruins of Mt. St. Helens. That’s kind of cool, I guess.

Anyway, just thought I’d post my thoughts. The next review I’ll post is Stephen King’s The Outsider. You’ve heard of Stephen King. He writes the scary stuff. Well, feel free to tell me if I’m off base with my review, and I hope that everybody is having a great 2019.  Bye for now!

Andrick

Reviews! On my birthday!

Okay, it’s my birthday, and all I want are reviews! There were over 200 downloads of my books; thank you all so much!
 
If you could get yer bad seff over to that corporate juggernaut known as Amazon, and write me a review, even if you’ve only read a few letters, that would be neato. Just do a search for ‘andrick schall’ or look under your recent purchases.
 
If you give me one star, I will curl up in a fetal position and cry.
 
If you give me two stars, I will wander around the apartment muttering ‘whatever.’
 
If you give me 3 stars, that would make my day.
 
If you give me 4 stars, I would be the happiest man alive.
 
If you give me 5 stars, I will come to your house and be your personal cabin boy. Details to be arranged at a later date.
 
Thank you all so much! Hope everybody’s well!

The last short story

The_rake

This is the last short story I’ll post in a while, as I’m getting back to working on a new novel. This one is called The Rake. It’s a grim story of things going wrong for a cop, and his encounter with the paranormal.

Don’t forget, you have today and tomorrow to download, for free, the Kindle versions of my new books! Thanks to all who have already done so!

I hope everybody’s well! Take care!

Yet another short story

Here’s another short story I wrote. It’s a little sad, but it’s based on a true story:

The Burglar

Hope you guys like it!

Don’t forget, you have until Friday to download my 2 new books, for free on Kindle. They ain’t great, but they sure ’nuff was fun to write:

 

I hope everybody’s well, and, as always, I’d appreciate some feedback on the short story!

Have a good day!

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