Well, what can I tell you…

Time to take a break from my polemic assault posts on my less-than wonderful experiences with UW Medicine, and bust some more catfishers!

In my opinion, online dating is one the biggest money makers/scams going on the internet. I get it: so many people are very lonely, especially in these troubled times. But paying money repeatedly to various apps and websites that promise you love (or at least a romp in the sack) just does not work. It is mere window shopping. It is no way to meet someone. Or, at least, this is what I have been told. Really. What?!?

I wrote about the phenomenon called catfishing a few posts back, briefly. I thought I would revisit the subject, as I have recently had quite a few laughs. Catfishing is when an online potential partner presents themselves as someone they are not, offering affection, love, or even sex, in order to scam a lonely person out of money. Many of us are familiar with them, but some people still fall prey. According to the FBI, in 2018, 18,000 people were the victims of catfishing.

This is a great article on the classic catfisher methods, and how to spot them:

Catfishers will attempt to scam you on just about any social media platform. Recently, on Instagram, I have been abruptly approached by several of them. They are generally easy to spot. I am a 49 year old man, and comeliness is not my gift. When a 26 year old woman, who usually is questionably successful for her age, and looks like a model/porn star, comes on to me on Instagram, that’s a major red flag. Also, they usually have a horrible time with grammar and proper English, another huge red flag. In fact, red flags 100% of the time.

At first, it just kind of annoyed me. I spotted it right away. But after my annoyance, it got kind of fun. And so, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Veronica Smith:

Okay, so that was a bit harsh of me. Maybe she was genuine. I really kinda doubt it, though. Just intuition, a gut feeling, if you will. Anyway, I was then later on contacted by another catfisher. Second on tonight’s card is: Nini! Take it away, Nini!

Well, they don’t always have to be female catfishers, affectionate right out of the gate, promising love and commitment. A catfisher can easily be a male, trying to con you out of money by promising more even more money back to you. With that being said, let’s have a conversation with… Tankblowin!

Well, that was a brief but enjoyable conversation with Tankblowin. To wrap this post up, let’s go over my wonderful conversation with: Jenifer! She and I both work in healthcare, so we really bonded quickly. I had a lot of holes in my education, but Jenifer was able to intelligently answer them. Here we go!

Well, unfortunately, the conversation abruptly ended after that. That’s really too bad; I thought we were a cute couple and we really clicked. And the way she handled my healthcare questions was amazing, almost like she wrote Wikipedia herself! I’m still kind of sad about it. I’ll be okay. I will. Just… I wanna be by myself for a bit. I’m okay. It’s not you, it’s me. In, your, eyes…….

That was fun. You know, I keep getting catfished like this. I thought I would keep recording the conversations and keep an album going, but it got kind of tedious. So now, whenever an impossibly hot 20-year-old medical doctor with huge bazingas who’s practicing in Africa reaches out to me, or a gentleman named ChiefMoney contacts me, I just ignore it and block it.

This has been a cautionary tale. Don’t fall for these charlatans, these ne’er do wells!

Thank you! Stay safe! Wash your hands! Get vacced, and if you haven’t, really give it some thought! Take care of yourselves and each other! Avoid Florida!

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